Chapter 5 18 Years Old (1980-81) - Having Understood The Truth

I had rather a big shock today. Here's the conversation I had with four-year-old Rika:

"Aya, I want to be wobbly like you."
"But then you couldn't walk or run, and you'd find it boring," I replied, as cool as a cucumber. "We've had enough of this problem with me."
"All right,I don't want it, then," she said immediately.
This happened in the entrance hall. Mom was some-where in the house. I wonder what she thought when she overheard us?

Final High School Summer Holiday

I took a bath in the morning (to make my body more supple). Mom was busily moving around saying how hot it was. I felt sorry for her because I didn't feel hot at all, so I worked on math calculations until I was sweating.

After lunch, I got a toothache. I took advantage of being at home to cry.
"How old are you?" Said my brother. That's a favorite remark of his. He put some ice in a plastic bag for me. That cooled my cheek and I slept for two hours feeling comfortable.

When Mom came home, she applied some Shin Konjisui painkiller to my tooth. Then I played gomoku with my brother. He beat me, 8 games to 2. Ako comes home late because of her part-time work. At my request, we had cold tofu and sashimi for dinner.

In the evening, I fell down again. As I was standing up to switch off the bedroom light, I fell down . . . SLAP-BANG. I made a terrible noise and Mom came flying in.
"What happened? Aya, you have to use your brain and build on the things you've learned up to now. If you keep falling down like this, I won't even be able to go out to work with an easy mind."
As she was saying this, she attatched a long string to the chain hanging from the light. I must be more careful about what I do late at night.

I cleaned my room enthusiastically, thinking "Today's the day!" I was moving around on my knees, so the vacuum cleaner didn't suck up the dust very well. But I worked desperately at it. I felt so good afterwards.

Keiko came to visit me.

Like Aquatic plants
Floating on a pond,
Talking with my friend,
Just looking at each other,
About our innermost feelings.
My friend with her sparkling eyes
Tells me about her dreams.

Keiko talked a long about her future dreams. I felt this was how we would become adults.

Tomorrow's the day for me to enter the hospital again.